Ms. Emily

I spent most of yesterday with Ms. Emily Dickinson, hours and hours, in fact, but not enough. If I were simply to dedicate a week to doing nothing but reading her work, or a month, or a year, come retirement, I wonder just how long it would take me to tire of her, or her, me. I suppose I would eventually, but my guess is that, finally, frustrated, I'd simply throw in the towel. She can be so enigmatic.

On the other hand, she can be transparent as a schoolgirl.

Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requirest sorest need.

There's room for just about everyone in her passionate fantasies--

Inebriate of Air--am I --
And Debauchee of Dew--
Reeling--through endless summer days--
From inns of Molten Blue --

But why the almost endless dashes and on-again, off-again capitalization? And what on earth does she mean sometimes, about death, for instance?

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading--treading--till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through--

And why didn't she ever finish? Why is there several versions of the same poem with no clear preferences marked? And what does she want to say sometimes, when the words simply don't line up in any fashion most of us can understand? "A Bird came down the Walk" (328) ends when Ms. Speaker offers a crumb but the bird leaves. Here's how she describes it:

Like one in danger, Cautious,
I offered him a Crumb
And he unrolled his feathers
And rowed him softer home--

Than Oars divide the Ocean,
Too silver for a seam--
Or Butterflies, off Banks of Noon
Leap, plashless as they swim.

I read yesterday somewhere that sometimes reading Ms. Emily is like being present in the mind because sometimes her poetry is really poetry in the making. Something about that description I like.

About faith, she was all over the map. Sometimes angry, sometimes accepting, always a cynic. I don't think I'll ever understand her, but there's always more than enough to keep me trying.

This morning, I'm thankful for yesterday--most of a day, once again, for the 35th time, with Ms. Emily.